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Currently studying a certificate in psychoanalytic couple therapy makes me reflect on the influence of relationships on us humans. As a psychologist I’ve always been curious on the relationship dynamics of my clients. The systems (family, culture) we’ve grown up in can influence who we are, our tastes in food, traditions, smells and the relationship we have with self and others.

When people attend my clinic they speak of a variety of concerns. My work is known for being driven by psychodynamic and balancing the current experience with the drive of employing tools for change. There’s many traits and qualities about my clients that don’t require change. It’s natural for our relationships to bring us joy and happiness as well as hurt, unfortunately it may also impact at deeper levels.

Relational trauma is a term that refers to the psychological concerns from negative experiences in interpersonal relationships. It can occur in various forms, including abuse, neglect, betrayal, or abandonment, and can have long-lasting effects on an individual’s emotional well-being.

The impact of relational trauma can be profound, as it may erode a person’s sense of safety, trust, and self-worth. This can lead to a variety of psychological symptoms, including anxiety, self esteem lowered, doubting self, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

Relational trauma can originate from a variety of sources, including childhood abuse, intimate partner, familial conflict, or a series of betrayals in close relationships. If you have experienced this you may struggle to trust others, have difficulty setting boundaries, or fear intimacy and vulnerability. These experiences can also contribute to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame, as survivors may internalise the messages they received from their abusers or betrayers.

In order to address relational trauma effectively, a holistic and relational approach to therapy is beneficial. This involves providing a safe and supportive environment in which clients can explore their emotions, thoughts, and beliefs about themselves and others. Therapy can help process the trauma, challenge negative beliefs, develop healthy coping strategies, and establish boundaries in relationships. Additionally, therapy can help clients build resilience, cultivate self-compassion, and strengthen their sense of agency and empowerment.

Overall, understanding relational trauma is essential for my work. By acknowledging the impact of trauma on individuals’ relationships and sense of self, an effective and compassionate treatment plan can be offered. Through a relational and trauma-informed approach, support can be offered in reframing experiences, rebuilding trust in you and others, cultivating and increasing resilience.