Valentine’s Day
Valentines Day
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching us, and with it you may find a wide range of emotional responses. For some of us, it might be exciting at the thought of expressing the feelings of love. And for others we may experience profound panic of the future, sadness and a sense of being alone while ‘happy couples’ celebrate.
Take time to explore the thoughts and feelings that’s evoked in you at the thought of Valentine’s Day.
– Do you have any memories of past years?
– What did you learn from your childhood in regards to this celebration?
– Have past or current relationships influenced your view on the day?
At my counselling practice in Newcastle, I work with individuals and couples. For all my clients, we explore the meaning of love; both expressing and receiving and what this is like. This is connected to past experience as well as the current moment. A positive approach and outlook is essential but this doesn’t mean undermining concerns or emotions that we might be feeling is impacting on our life.
St Valentine’s Day is an annual festival to celebrate romantic love, admiration and friendship. Although commercialism it is based mainly for couples we do not have to be in a relationship to express love.
If are you solo at this time:
Many find this time time of year challenging for a number of reasons. Perhaps you’ve just came out of a relationship or going on dates and they aren’t getting anywhere or perhaps its your choice to be solo… there isn’t anything wrong with not being in a relationship. The 14th February can exacerbate low mood & loneliness and wanting to be in a relationship. We have all been single at some point in our life and have perhaps spent this day on our own.
It is important to challenge societal pressures of being in a relationship. I recommend selecting something fun to do on the day / evening. This could be with your children, friends or simply watching a movie on your own. Remember this is only one day.
It is important to remember that happiness does not equate to being in a relationship!
Emotional connection:
Celebration of St Valentine’s Day supports emotional connection with others, time out from day-to-day life and relationship investment (if you are to be in one). We have to be aware that at this time of year we might have expectations from others (if in a relationship or from friends) and it is important to openly discuss and create boundaries of how or if you’d like to celebrate this time of year. There will be a lot of images on social media or stories told at university / work / amongst friends of gifts or meals and it is important to be aware of comparison. What one couple does not equate to every couple doing.
It’s important to invest in self too (regardless if in a relationship or not)! Perhaps spend this day booking a massage for yourself, doing yoga at home or a bath and good book. Signing up to a fitness class..the list is pretty endless.
If you are in a relationship think about a new hobby that you can both do on a monthly basis, time to connect emotionally & physically each week.
If you are finding it difficult to date or in a relationship and wanting to explore it, then you are most welcome to join me in clinic. We are based in the heart of Newcastle and offer a wide range of counselling services.
Happy St Valentine’s Day….
Dr Ash x