Clinic welcomes individuals & couples, the topic of sex enters the therapeutic space daily. Likewise some individuals book specifically for psychosexual therapy. The clinic philosophy is relational and everyone’s story includes sex.
Sex is not only a behaviour or desire, this is too far a simplified lense to look through. Of course it compromises
both but it includes relational, with self and other, unconscious, our emotions and psychology. Sex is our attachment with self, environment, feelings, cognitions, others and our history. Sex includes fear, anxiety, excitement and shame – to name a few emotions. Sex is our narrative of self and other, in the moment but linked to our experiences within our culture and sub culture. When people book in for psychosexual therapy they sometimes get a little surprise when I say during the telephone consultation ” to look at sex within therapy is looking at everything inclusive of your history”. Understanding our self within a sexual experience means understanding ourselves as a whole.
We as humans have a need for connection, we are born with this but dependent on our experiences we shame these needs, we have a fear of rejection yet we have a drive to belong. Therefore, when we enter sex we bring all of this with us, sometimes not realising and sometimes we do. Part of psychosexual therapy in clinic is deepening the sense of understanding of you. This means getting to know you and building on that relational dynamic with self. Understanding the script you carry means being aware of feelings and behaviour e.g. sitting with shame, fear or avoidance whilst having goals to accept self and past with the limitations and strengths you have, leaning into learning to trust self and others and opening communication of being honest with self and relational dynamics. This is all parts of the goals of embodiment of self.
Our bodies carry many languages without us realising. Somatic trauma therapy is leaning into our body and learning to relax within it and understanding when we are activated. We use our body day to day but most of the time not fully listening to the messages it sends us or at times over analysing every tweak. You use your body during sex and understanding the messages it sends you is important as you become to learn more about your self. It’s important to be honest with your self of your patterns of desire and patterns avoidance of sex. What shuts you off and what turns you on. Look at what you fantasise about but can not communicate with another. What do you with-hold from your partner. Understanding when you dissociate, retreat and clingy is all important concepts of psychosexual therapy work in clinic.
Clinic welcomes individuals in monogamy, non monogomy, same sex relations and we explore trauma, sexism, shame, culture, religion, anxiety and fear together. To talk solely of sex means we miss out on the whole experience.