Are you dysregulated?

“I’m sad and dysregulated” There’s actually a difference from being sad and experiencing dysregulation. We can be sad and regulated.

Many people say they are dysregulated when they experience an “unpleasant emotion”. “I am happy therefore regulated”. “I am calm therefore regulated”.  You can be sad, angry, stressed and can still be regulated. Dysregulation is different to the emotions we are experiencing. It’s when we are struggling to manage our emotional responses, perhaps its prolonged and hindering daily functioning and relationships. It’s usually a form of pattern. It can include a lack of understanding, awareness or acceptance of the emotions. A lack of strategies to support regulation of emotions.

There are more than one kind of dysregulation: emotional, behavioural, interpersonal, cognitive and self. All can interlink to some degree when someone is experiencing true dysregulation. Emotional dysregulation makes it more difficult to manage emotions and to respond to them effectively. The opposite of emotional regulation doesn’t mean calmness. The extent in which people can regulate their emotions is on a spectrum. No one’s emotions can be regulated all the time. It is the ability to understand the emotion e.g. name it, responding to it by learning skills. Emotional dysregulation can appear later in life after trauma or with physical and emotional conditions. There is no shaming in clinic when someone is experiencing emotions are dysregulation. I walk the journey beside you, yes an expert of psychology yet someone who is passionate and nurturing.

How does trauma influence emotional dysregulation

Experiences can change how your brain and nervous system respond to danger, keeping someone in the position of “high alert”. Even when life is much safer the brain and nervous system anticipates danger, over time this makes it more difficult to manage and respond to emotions. This isn’t the persons fault. It’s actually natural responses to chronic trauma and stress. The brain can adapt with treatment to bring back the nervous to a more balanced state of being.

Depression, anxiety disorders and borderline personality disorder often involve emotional dysregulation.

Learning to identify emotions and naming them is an important life skill. “I am feeling……” supports individuals to be able to respond to the emotions. Sometimes we can explain why we have an emotion and other times not. This is okay. It is important to be able to respond emotions as if they are visitors, allowing space for them and to be curious. Then addressing your needs towards them.

If you are feeling an emotion that you are uncomfortable with then it is important to remember that everyone has  emotions. By doing so it can lead to less judgement of self.

The work of therapy is not to be in a permanent state of calmness but seeing emotions as part of us. They are fluid and not fixed. Emotions are a compass to tell us our needs. Clinic supports emotional regulation by many means to cultivate awareness of your inner experience, when & why you experience certain feelings. It is also important to know that experiencing emotions are a natural part of life and doesn’t mean you are dysregulated.